I actually wrote this yesterday, when I was having a “bad day” with a migraine headache. Today I’m better, just so you know! Still, I’m guessing there are others who can identify with this feeling, and so I will publish this post, though it sounds more depressing than I feel today! Sometimes it helps to know you’re not the only one.
Prompt: “The truth is …” 10 minutes. GO!
The Truth Is
The truth is, I wish I had more energy, less pain, more motivation, less weight to lug around. The truth is, there is so much in this world I want to do before I die, before my parents need more time and care, before grandchildren steal my heart and consume my energy and I have little time for myself. The truth is, I spend a lot of time in pain, in bed, at medical appointments, scheduling and rescheduling appointments just so I can try to feel better so I can enjoy my life.
The truth is, I don’t really expect to ever see Europe, other continents, cities on postcards from friends and family. The truth is, traveling is hard for me – the packing and unpacking, thinking through what all I will need – the ice pack, the heating pad, the medications, in addition to the stuff most people bring. And never knowing if I’ll be able to get out and actually see the places we travel to anyway.
The truth is, I may never even see New York City. When people talk about New York and they find out I’ve never been, they are astounded. Fifty-two years old and never been to New York City??! Wow!
The truth is, I don’t even want to go, when I feel so wracked with pain, my head throbbing, as I press the blue ice pack more firmly on my forehead with my left hand, penning these words with my right.
The truth is, sometimes it all just seems too much. When really it is what others would think is no life at all. The truth is, I don’t give up, even when I write that I want to. I answer the phone, and accept the appointment time available at the chiropractor’s, responding to my voicemail inquiry from an hour ago.
The truth is … life goes on.